Maura Ammenheuser: February 2012 Archives

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Parents are invited to attend the International Dyslexia Association, Inland Empire Branch's annual conference opening this Friday at the Riverside Marriott Hotel. It starts at 4 p.m.

"Parents, teachers, administrators, and psychologists are invited to learn strategies to help students with issues of literacy and learning," the group's press release said. "This year's conference, 'Light Up Your Lobes,' will highlight the topics of reading, nonverbal learning and executive function, and will provide information to help attendees become better equipped to assist students and children with these issues."

"We will be highlighting Dr. Seuss' birthday - after all, it is his special day," added Regina G. Richards, past president of IDA's Inland Empire Branch. (Theodor Geisel, who wrote as Dr. Seuss, was born March 2.) "Our introduction is a take-off of 'Oh the Places You'll Go,' our decorations will be Dr. Seuss, and many of us will be wearing 'Cat in the Hat' hats."

The conference continues Saturday.

Speakers include Dr. Jane Holmes Bernstein, of Children's Hospital, Boston, who will talk about the history and nature of nonverbal learning disorders and the importance of brain-context interactions. She will emphasize that as children develop, what they learn and how it's taught must change.

Cheryl Chase-Carmichael, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist from Ohio specializing in the diagnostic and neuropsychological assessment of various conditions impacting children will talk about executive functions. "Dr. Chase-Carmichael will offer strategies to help parents and teachers identify and solve issues dealing with enabling students to become better organized," IDA said.

The Marriott is at 3400 Market Street, Riverside. To register, visit www.dyslexia-ca.org or http://lightlobes.eventbrite.com. Registration fees, before 11:55 p.m. Thursday, are, for IDA members, $115; for non-members, $195. Fee includes appetizers at social, breakfast, lunch and snacks on Saturday. On-site registration the days of the conference cost $145 for members and $240 for nonmembers. Parents may join IDA for $45 when they register, to get the $35 in savings between the member and non-member advance registration rates. For more information, call 951-836-8528.

Join the conversation at blogs.inlandsocal.com/moms, PE.com or Momarama's page on Facebook. Or send an email to pe.momarama@yahoo.com

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Tomorrow is Feb. 29 - Leap Year Day.

It's stuck into our calendars once every four years - interestingly, during the same year we have the summer Olympics and a presidential election, maybe because we need more time to process stupendous athletic feats and stupefying political hyperbole.

The calendar gurus in eons past realized that Earth doesn't orbit the sun in exactly 365 days; there's a few hours' worth of spare change, and if we didn't adjust for this occasionally by throwing an extra day onto the end of February, a few decades down the road we'd find ourselves celebrating the Superbowl on a Tuesday or Thanksgiving on a Monday or something similarly apocalyptic.

Last week it hit me: O.M.G. A whole extra day!

Moms, how often do you think to yourself, "there's not enough time for (fill in the blank)." From hurrying our kids to school, to running errands during our lunch break, to scrambling to squeeze snacks, soccer and homework into our afternoons, to feeding a small army a decent dinner, to having maybe 10 minutes of quality conversation with the husband, to falling into bed thoroughly pooped - and not nearly early enough for a full night's sleep - we think, "there's not enough time!" about 197 times every day. So think carefully about tomorrow, a whole extra 24 hours, gifted to us only once every four years.

I harbor a fantasy that we as a family can spend these 24 hours doing everything we usually put off for lack of time. How would I spend Feb. 29? Doing even one of these things:

Reading to my kids, the older one as well as the younger, and for more than 10 minutes right before bedtime. (They're into "Spiderwick Chronicles" and the "Little House" series now, but click here for my post on the enduring value of Dr. Seuss.)

Playing a real game of Monopoly - or any board game, really, that usually goes on so long we need to jerry-rig the house rules to put a time limit on it.

Giving my daughter a piano lesson. Or playing for an hour myself. The last time I truly practiced the piano was in 1999.

Baking our most complicated, labor-intensive dessert recipe.

Giving my daughter and myself a pedicure.

Hiking the adobe trail at the Santa Rosa Plateau Ecological Preserve, which we haven't done in years, or find an even longer one. (See the preserve's website here.)

Learning to hula hoop. Both kids are better hula-hoopers than me. I need Son's one-on-one hula tutoring for at least an hour.

Riding our bikes the full, 21.8-mile Lakeview trail at Hemet's Diamond Valley Lake (see its website here.)

Tackling time-consuming projects neglected for months, even years. Top of the list? Organizing our family photos. It's taken me since last summer to electronically corral all the digital ones on the computer, and I'm probably only an hour away from finishing this task. Then I can turn my attention to the boxes and piles of prints, many from my son's first year, which predated our digital camera. I yearn to spread these photos over our dining room table and pore through them in a leisurely family nostalgia binge, labeling pictures, getting them into albums or frames and storing them somewhere logical. (Not, um, in piles all over the house.)

This is my fantasy Leap Year Day. Moms, what will you do with the extra 24 hours we get this year? Join the conversation at blogs.inlandsocal.com/moms, PE.com or Momarama's page on Facebook. Or send an email to pe.momarama@yahoo.com

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Theodor Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, was born March 2, 1904. Some inland schools will celebrate his birthday this week with special events, and for good reason. Children have learned to read with Dr. Seuss books, filled with silly, simple rhymes, since 1937, when "And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street" was published.

Momarama asked education experts for their take on why "Green Eggs and Ham" and "The Cat in the Hat" remain so beloved by children and parents, more than 20 years after Geisel's death. Ann Neely, associate professor of education at Vanderbilt University's Peabody College of Education; Donna Eshelman, a motor-development specialist who works with children and writes an online guide (stellarcaterpillar.com) about how babies learn skilled movement; and Kimberly Greene, assistant professor at Brandman University's School of Education, director for Brandman's Center for Instructional Innovation and author of interactive books for LeapFrog Toys, explain their love of Seuss.

Momarama: What's the enduring power of Dr. Seuss?

Neely: Dr. Seuss wrote with the joy, concern and passion a child carries. His books, often filled with strange names and "political" messages, demonstrate his heart in a way that allows the reader to read, repeat and even sing his words! I think of the 3-year-old whose first attempt at "reading" is "There's a Wocket in my Pocket!" His confidence at knowing the pattern (anapestic tetrameter) and having memorized the words is exciting and confidence-building. ... Readability is a key part of the enduring power of Dr. Seuss ... Children can read Dr. Seuss books many times without tiring of the rhythms, the plots or the art.

Eshelman: I believe a creative work is considered "great" when it has many layers to it. This means that each time you see it or read it, you discover something you did not get before or understand something for the first time because of your recent life experience. ... This is true of Dr. Seuss books. The baby sees bright colors and interesting shapes of familiar and unfamiliar objects. The toddler likes to hear the patterns of rhyming words, reminiscent of a song. The child might find the absurdity of the dog driving the car amusing. The slightly older child follows the plot and anticipates the ending. And the much older child and even the adult reading the book find wonder in how he weaves a moral into the ridiculous spectacle we have just watched unfold.

Greene: There's so much joy in his writing. He knew who his audience was. ... When he [was first published], kids in school were reading "Dick and Jane." There's not a story there. [With Dr. Seuss] there is always character and plot ... In school we were getting bored to tears reading 'Stop, Spot, stop," but [Seuss] told a story ... familiar and friendly and understandable to pre-school and early-elementary-school kids.

Momarama: Is it ironic that books so simple, and goofy, have been hailed as powerful early-education tools? Dr. Seuss means very basic words and rhymes. How can this nurture young minds?

Neely: Not ironic in the least! To many it is interesting how useful these simple (and goofy) books can be for young learners. Geisel was asked by publisher Bennett Cerf to use around 250 of 400 simple words that would not allow readers to become disengaged ... Out of this request came "The Cat in the Hat," utilizing 236 of those simple but not boring words. ... Children in the stages of early literacy need to develop strong foundations in phonological awareness. I think the rhyming can be used in a variety of ways in this regard.

Eshelman: I call it the 4 Rs: Rhythm, rhyme, repetition and the ridiculous. When something is organized in patterns it is easier to grasp. It is easier for babies to learn to speak when they learn songs because the rhythm and repetition brings a familiarity so they anticipate the next words and try and say them on their own. So through the rhyme, rhythm and repetition of these simple words, learning to read is easier.

The 4th R, the ridiculous, is very important because children are drawn to the new and unusual. The ridiculous aspects of Dr. Seuss stories captures and maintains their attention, which creates deeper learning. [Simple and goofy] ... is Dr. Seuss' brilliance.

Momarama: How important are the moral lessons underpinning the plots? Would the books hold the same value if they were merely a series of silly poems?

Neely: I see the moral lessons in Dr. Seuss plots as valuable for discussions and learning experiences for older children. I do think that silly poems are necessary from time to time, however. Part of the value of Dr. Seuss stories is that there is this rise and fall of the plot that produces a lesson for readers. That said, I do know that many of the moral lessons accompanying Seuss tales go way over the heads of the young readers. I can't imagine the books would maintain their high value and societal prestige if they did not contain the moral underpinnings that can be so easily discussed with children, young and old.

Greene: They're universal themes. [In "The Sneetches"] every kid can relate to feeling left out, being different. In "Horton," it's about helping. ... These books can be a real lifesaver for someone who wants to teach life lessons [without] being preachy.

Momarama: How important are the illustrations (also by Geisel)? It's hard to imagine Dr. Seuss books looking any different than they do, but most educators focus on the value of the words. Is the art just fun icing on the cake?

Neely: The art isn't that lovable or important. ... Besides the recognizability of the art in Dr. Seuss books, I'm not really attracted to it (and was personally bored with it as a child). I also think of "The Bippolo Seed and Other Stories" and how the art is more sparse in this book but the stories are just as enjoyable. Maybe this shows my preference for text but I've found that the children I know like these stories just the same. I also think it is interesting to think about how the many movie adaptations of Seuss stories have probably changed the perception of his art in some ways.

The art Dr. Seuss provided greatly influenced the art of more recent children's book illustrators. And the popularity of his books encouraged publishers to be far more interested in and willing to seek illustrators considered to be "cutting edge."

Eshelman:These books often end up on a baby's first bookshelf because they enjoy looking at the pictures. The high contrast and primary colors often used are easy for babies to see, and the silliness or exaggeration of the people and everyday objects create novelty, which babies and children love. ... After all, when did you last see a cat in a hat? Or a dog driving a car? It is funny! Learning should be motivated by intrigue and curiosity. These books are also sensory experiences by providing stimulating illustrations along with rhyming words.

Greene: The pictures help the kids [seek more Dr. Seuss] because they recognize the artwork. Somebody will write the book, and an illustrator instead of making sure the pictures match the words, they'll try to be humorous or ironic. The words say, "I really love pizza," but a kid's making an ugly face. For early readers, that's a disconnect. For pre-readers, words and pictures should match up. Dr. Seuss did it so right.

Momarama: What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?

Neely: As a child, I liked "One Fish, Two Fish," perhaps because the illustrations really do matter there.

Eshelman: "Green Eggs and Ham!" I love the message of eating things that do not appeal to you and discovering they taste delicious, and I love the energetic repetition of the words.

Join the conversation at blogs.inlandsocal.com/moms, PE.com or Momarama's page on Facebook. Or send an email to pe.momarama@yahoo.com

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Last week I nearly fell out of my chair hearing the story about the Arkansas mother who faces a child-endangerment charge because she made her 10-year-old son walk 4.6 miles to school.

It was punishment -- or perhaps natural consequences -- of his being suspended from the school bus for poor behavior.

A few days ago, an Alabama grandmother and stepmother were charged with a far more serious offense, murder, after a 9-year-old girl died. Police say the women forced her to run for three hours, a punishment for lying to her grandmother about eating candy bars.

To read the Associated Press' coverage of this case, click here.

So the Arkansas parent got into legal hot water for meteing out what authorities felt was dangerous punishment, when there was no apparent threat to the boy's health or safety.

And another set of parents obviously went too far to make their point to a misbehaving child, assuming that what police learned about the case was true.

Taken together, these cases make us seem ridiculously conflicted, as parents, about what constitutes appropriate punishment when our children break the rules.

The AP story siad it wasn't clear whether the Arkansas girl was somehow physically forced to endure a three-hour run, or verbally coerced. Either way, according to the police, she became dehydrated, suffered a seizure and died a few days later. It's no wonder a forced run lasting hours would harm the child. Running for three hours is the stuff of marathons -- and not even all athletes who train for months for such an event can always complete a three-hour run. This episode is heartbreaking. Were the stepmother and grandmother normally the cruel, abusive type? Or were they simply not thinking, just doling out a harsh punishment out of anger? Was some other bizarre, pathological factor involved here? And with all that running, why didn't the girl run far enough from her angry grandmother to be able to stop and maybe approach somebody for help? Though I can only imagine the reaction she'd get if she told someone her grandmother and stepmother were making her run all afternoon. Would anyone have taken her seriously?

Any parent can relate to becoming infuriatingly frustrated with a misbehaving child. But you'd think that at some point over the course of those three hours, either one of the women would've calmed down enough to realize that a a forced marathon was a gross overreaction to some fibbing, a typical childhood crime.

One of my own children has a bad track record when it comes to honesty. We're always trying to find effective discipline to deal with her lies. We haven't solved the problem yet, and each time we catch her in a new lie we feel more angry and discouraged. So I get the grandmother's fury over being fed a bunch of baloney.

But torturing my daughter with a forced three-hour run? Is this really what these women did?

Did you read about this case? What was your initial reaction? How do you deal with childhood lies in your family? Join the conversation at blogs.inlandsocal.com/moms, PE.com or Momarama's page on Facebook. Or send an email to pe.momarama@yahoo.com

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Hemet resident Jim Buchanan emailed to comment on Sunday's Momarama column. That one talked about the Arkansas mother facing a child-endangerment charge because she made her 10-year-old walk 4.6 miles to school after he was suspended from the bus. (If you missed that blog post, click here.)

Buchanan wrote: "When I was in seventh grade, I was kicked off the bus for being rowdy.

"My mother went to the school and told the principal to paddle my behind, and she would do the same as it was too far to walk and she didn't want me hitchhiking. She had to be at work and could not drive me. After two paddlings, I was never kicked off again. I guess today she would be arrested and the principal would be arrested and fired.

"I hear my wife, a retired teacher who sometimes subs, talk about the second-graders from hell. It doesn't take much imagination to know where they get it."

Buchanan added, though, that "I see young people doing many good things. I will admit that my generation didn't always volunteer the way many do today."

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BY MITCHELL ROSEN
MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST

Most parents have a blind spot when it comes to their own kids. I have met the most poorly behaved children only to have their mother or father remark, "Isn't he (or she) just the cutest thing?" Actually, no. What I feel like saying is, "Your child is one of the most obnoxious miscreants I have ever met. Doesn't it bother you they keep interrupting, ignore you when you ask them a question, or not bother to say 'hello' when guests come over?"

If I go against my better judgment and mention anything slightly critical about a child's pushy or rude behavior, I've had parents retort, "I know! My child is so confident, so sure of themselves; isn't it great?"

At this point I'm looking for Rod Serling to come out of the corner smoking a cigarette announcing, "Welcome to the children of the corn." I like most kids and give them a wide berth because, as the cliché goes, "Children are a work in progress."

I take off my family therapist hat after work and it would be rare I would ever correct a child if their parent were present. But when the youngster plays rough with the dog, spills and doesn't clean up or just cranks up the volume of their music, I might say something.
Usually I'll look to the parents and silently take a deep breath. When time passes and mom or dad will not intervene it is very awkward. If a dog or other animal is being hurt I will immediately step in, and deal with the parents later. When however it is an issue of behavior bordering on rudeness, well, most of us have been in this position.

Parenting is the domain of mom and dad but the responsibility for guiding belongs to all of us. When a child is sorely in need of guidance and the parents either ignore the behavior or worse yet, idealize it, we all have a tough decision to make. Do we wander in where we are clearly not wanted because the world does not need more insensitive or rude people, or do we suck it up, say nothing, smile and hope to leave as soon as possible?

I don't like being a buttinsky and certainly don't wish that to be my legacy. Mostly I get annoyed with the parents more than the kids. The parents do know better but their need to see their progeny as gifted or without fault is sometimes grating. Some of the times I've said something, it meant the end of friendship. Other times the parent agreed and took over the parenting and all was good. Often I wish for a card I could hold up that would read, "Your child is in need of guidance," but I've yet to see one in a Hallmark store.

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Did you hear the story about the Jonesboro, Ark., woman cited last week with misdemeanor child endangerment? Valerie Borders got into trouble after making her 10-year-old son walk 4.6 miles to school.

The boy's misbehavior on the school bus (one news report mentions yelling) got him suspended from the bus. Mom told him to walk.

When he was spotted walking alone, police arrived, drove the boy to school, then cited Borders. Jonesboro police spokesman Sgt. Lyle Waterworth was quoted speculating that the child could've faced possible injury or abduction. One report mentioned it was 30 degrees outside. (To read what Arkansas TV station KSLA reported, click here.)

What messages does this incident send to kids and parents? Hmm.

First, it tells the kid that if he's rowdy enough to get thrown off the bus, it's OK, because Mom will be legally forced to provide a ride for him. Basically the legal system handed the kid a free pass for bad behavior.

It says a 10-year-old isn't physically or psychologically capable of walking 4.6 miles. (I don't know whether this child has a cell phone. If so, he probably has GPS navigation, so hey, at least he wouldn't get lost.)

It tells children that 30-degree weather is far too harsh for their delicate systems to tolerate. Granted these temperatures are probably unusual for Arkansas. But I was reminded of "Farmer Boy," part of the "Little House on the Prairie" book series. "Farmer Boy" chronicles author Laura Ingalls Wilder's husband's childhood in the 1800s. It describes the Wilder kids performing farm chores in subfreezing weather, not to mention hiking to school in it. I'm not saying we should all live in the antiquated past, performing manual labor in frigid conditions. Frankly I'm glad we don't have to. But young Almanzo Wilder managed to survive to adulthood.

The Jonesboro incident also says the police are better judges of appropriate discipline than parents. (See Jennifer Dean's post last week about another example of government overriding parents' decisions, by clicking here.)

Borders chose a punishment some parents might find extreme, but she felt this would work with her kid. The child should feel it's extreme or it won't motivate him to shape up. It would probably take him more than an hour to walk that distance, and presumably do it again to return home after school. That's inconvenient enough to likely improve his bus behavior.

One news report quoted Waterworth, the police spokesman, saying, "You ask yourself the question, is that [a 4.6 mile walk to school] safe for the child?"

Actually, that's the most relevant question. From what I've read of this case, it doesn't sound like there was any actual danger - kind of the heart of the matter with a child endangerment charge. Did he have to walk through gang-infested crime zones, cross a highway or river or some other obstacle that would in fact threaten his safety?

If so, Mom should've chosen a different punishment. But no news reports I've seen mentioned any specific, imminent threat - except perhaps his mother's wrath. The ABC report said that when the police officer arrived, the boy told him not to take him home because "Mother will beat me."

Was he being literal? If so, then the problem here is actual domestic violence (prosecute away!), not that the kid had to walk 4.6 miles. If the boy simply meant "Mom's mad at me already; please just let me get to school without making any more waves," that's not grounds for police action.

The boy, by the way, made a plea on his mother's behalf. She's facing a maximum penalty of a year in jail and a $1,000 fine. He said he he understood she was just trying to teach him a lesson.

How would you handle this situation?

Join the conversation at blogs.inlandsocal.com/moms, PE.com or Momarama's page on Facebook. Or send an email to pe.momarama@yahoo.com

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

At what age is it OK to leave your child home alone?

This depends, of course, on the child. It took me a long time to leave Son, now 12, home alone, mostly because I'm a worry freak. I still don't leave Daughter, 9, alone for more than 15 minutes, and then only on the rare days when tweaked school schedules force me to pick up Son across town the same time Daughter arrives home. We don't leave them home together, because the bickering would escalate to nuclear war without a parent to stop it. Then there's the junk food cabinet, the grocery money and my makeup left unguarded. Daughter's a crime-of-opportunity type, so I try to minimize her opportunities for criminal mischief.

So Daughter makes the rounds with me. But sometimes it's necessary, or just simpler, to leave Son at home. This is especially true since we got a puppy, who suffers separation anxiety (yes, dogs can experience this) if we leave him alone. If I'm going out for two hours it makes more sense to leave Son home with Dog than to troop both kids to the car, puppyproof the house, bribe Dog with chew toys, then disappear, hoping Dog won't destroy anything or pee on the carpets in our absence.

I was a latchkey teenager after Mom took a full-time job out of economic necessity. As the oldest, I was "in charge," but my rambunctious younger brothers never listened to me. Somehow they never hospitalized each other during those unsupervised afternoons, but we also never did the household chores or our homework. We ate whatever we got our hands on and watched TV until Mom pulled in the driveway at 5:30 p.m., then we scrambled to look like diligent scholars. (Wonder why she was always so cranky?)

My son doesn't make trouble at home solo. The worst he does is get sucked into the computer, forgetting homework. But he's not a fulltime latchkey kid like I was -- he's on his own for a few hours at a time, on several occasions each month -- so it's not a huge problem. My big fear is his safety and how he'd handle the situation if there was a major earthquake while I'm gone, something my mother, raising us in New York, didn't have to worry about.

According to expert advice, I'm mostly doing things right with my son. The emergency numbers are posted by the phone; he knows not to answer the front door or use the stove; he can turn to our neighbors if he needs help. Kim Estes, founder of Savvy Parents Safe Kids (click here), and Candi Wingate, president of Nannies4Hire (click here), note that California, like most states, has no age requirement for leaving kids unsupervised. But parents should consider many things before walking out the door without their kid.

"Is your child physically capable and healthy enough to stay home alone?," Estes asks, and is he confident about being by himself? "If your child will be watching a sibling, do they get along? Will the younger sibling respect rules and the authority of the older sib?" (My mom would've flunked that part.)

"Does your child know how to dial 911?," Estes continued. "Your full name and address? How to operate the phone correctly? What to say if someone comes to your door? Your rules for cooking or playing outside when you are gone?" Further, she said, talk about "what-if" situations - such as, what if the power goes out, or there's a fire?

Is your child allowed to answer the phone, have friends over? "What to do if they're injured? How to lock and unlock the door? Is there a neighbor to turn to if they need help?"

Wingate adds more questions to consider, including how often and how long a child will be home by himself.

"Are there known hazards in my home that should be considered?," Wingate said. "Do we live in a high-crime neighborhood?" As for neighbors, are they truly friends or barely acquaintances, and how far away is their house?

Consider your child's personality, Wingate said. Is he impulsive, a risk-taker? (Not a good candidate for flying solo.) Does he handle small crises well? (Much better.) Does he feel comfortable being alone? If he must look after younger siblings, how young are they?

"Are there behavioral or medical concerns among any of the children? How well do the siblings relate to one another?," Wingate continued.

After pondering all that, if you think your child can handle being alone, do a few trial runs, Wingate said, leaving him home alone for an hour or two before doing this for longer periods on a regular basis. Post the rules and emergency information in a prominent place (fridge?), Wingate said: "Where the parents will be, when they will be
home, whom to contact in case of emergency, what can/should be eaten
(and what should not), what activities are permitted (and what are not),
where the kids may go (and where they should not), etc."

During the "test run," parents should check in frequently with their child, or have the child call the parent at set times. If their call doesn't come, call home to check on them. This is also a good way to tell whether the child can take responsibility for a simple task.

Do you leave your children home by themselves? How old are they? What helps your family make this a positive experience, and what perhaps didn't work so well?

Join the conversation at blogs.inlandsocal.com/moms, PE.com or Momarama's page on Facebook. Or send an email to pe.momarama@yahoo.com

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Did your kid gobble a bit too much Valentine's Day candy this week?

If that sweet holiday was just another coating of sugar on his teeth, consider a trip to the dentist.

Also, First 5 offers basic dental checkups for children from birth through age 5. A dentist and bilingual assistant perform dental screenings at Head Starts, preschools, day care centers and other community programs. Oral health workshops are also given at schools to teach parents about children's dental health. Children who get the screenings and parents attending the workshops get toothbrushes, toothpaste and dental floss -- plus, if needed, referrals for further dental treatments. The First 5 program will cover the cost of dental treatment for uninsured children while funds are available and will help with services not covered by some insurance.

Momarama asked Irma Valerio, program manager with the Riverside County Regional Medical Center Dental Program, to explain what parents can do to ensure their children keep those pearly whites as healthy as possible.

Momarama: What kind of dental problems do you tend to see in children age 5 and younger?

Valerio: Ordinary dental decay is the most commonly noticed dental
problem in young children's mouths. Nearly two-thirds of children 5 years old and younger may develop a cavity in one or more of their 20 primary teeth. Decay may be minor and localized to a few teeth, or it may become generalized and aggressive, severely damaging teeth and surrounding tissues.

The enamel is thinner on primary teeth, and decay can reach the pulp of the tooth and cause severe pain in children a more rapid rate than in adult teeth, where the enamel may provide a stronger barrier. It is our highest priority to teach parents how to help prevent decay in their child's primary teeth, but once the decay process begins, our
focus is to help the family find dental treatment to arrest the decay process and prevent the inevitable pain and infection that will soon result if left untreated.

It is also very important to restore primary teeth (with fillings and crowns placed by dentist after the decay is removed) so they do not have to be "pulled" but instead can remain in the child's mouth for an adequate length of time and can serve as guides for
the permanent teeth to erupt into the appropriate positions within the mouth. This helps to prevent the child from having crooked, misplaced permanent teeth.

The important factor in treating young children with lots of decay is their inability to cooperate for lengthy, tedious dental treatments. Specialty offices or surgery centers where general anesthesia is available to comfortably care for young children have elevated the standards of care for access to receiving dental treatment.

Other frequently noticed anomalies in "baby teeth" include enamel defects (small visible areas of discolored or malformed tooth structure that should be monitored or treated by a dentist) and the presence of fused, missing or extra teeth.

Momarama: What causes all these problems?

Valerio: Tooth decay is simply the result of certain bacteria growing on the surfaces of the teeth. These bacteria produce acid, especially when they are fed sugars or starches and when they are allowed to grow undisturbed by brushing for several hours. The acid begins to dissolve the hard outer structure of the tooth (enamel), eventually creating an opening into the less hard, inner shell of tooth structure (the dentin). Bacteria can then invade the tubule system in the dentin and be pulled closer to the nerves and blood supply in the center (pulp) of the tooth, causing pain and further destruction.

Momarama: Can you offer tips to parents on how to get their young children's teeth clean? With very young children, toothbrushing can be a wrestling match.

Valerio: It's best to begin good oral habits very early in the child's life by cleaning the mouth and gums with a warm washcloth even before teeth appear. The sensation of having the mouth touched and cared for becomes familiar and welcomed at an early age. Establishing a new brushing routine for a resistant toddler may take conviction and more effort, but it is a worth a few struggles to change a habit and maintain healthy teeth.

Begin by finding a comfortable position for child and parent) where the child's head can be supported and movement may be more limited. For example, sit down and hold the child facing forward on your lap. Gently place one hand on the child's forehead and
draw his/her head back close to your body. This can allow a stable position for brushing with the other hand. For more control, lay the child on a bed or couch and gently brush into the gumline with a moist toothbrush, restraining arms and legs as needed. Humor and rewards can help turn this activity into a fun-filled new routine. Repetition and not giving up can usually form a new habit within two weeks.

Momarama: At what age should children have their first dental checkup?

Valerio: Children should go the dentist when any teeth have erupted (appeared) or especially when the four front teeth have erupted and around the time of their first birthday.

Momarama: Sugar is notoriously bad for teeth. Are there any foods that actually improve dental health, either because they help remove residue from teeth or because of the nutrients they contain?

Valerio: No particular food works to prevent tooth decay by chewing action alone. Brushing is needed to remove bacteria and the sticky biofilms they create. But a less common form of sugar, called Xylitol, can also interfere with this bacterial film and reduce tooth decay. Xylitol can be found in some chewing gums, such as Trident with
Xylitol and in some tooth-friendly candies, such as lollipops, etc. Simply chewing gum itself may also help in the battle with tooth decay by triggering a rush of saliva, which helps counteract acid and speeds the flushing away of food and sugars. It is important to note, though, that permanent teeth begin forming at birth and good nutrition, including adequate fluoride, plays an important role in building stronger teeth.

For more information on the First 5 program, click here:
http://rcrmc.org/home/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=101:rcrmc-first-5-funded-dental-program&catid=10:news&Itemid=12

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Ever dream of running a marathon, but the daily responsibilities of motherhood get in the way?

Kelly Morse is a stay-at-home mom and work-from-home jogger-stroller saleswoman in Murrieta. (She's owned online company Joggermom.com since 2007.) Last spring, Morse created a way for moms to run a marathon, but with a few twists.

In the Joggermom Marathon, nobody had to actually run 26.2 miles in a row to complete it (unless they wanted to, of course). Participants had the whole month of May to log a marathon's worth of miles. And the event is organized online. Mothers anywhere could run their miles wherever they chose -- no traveling long distance to run a long distance! The first Joggermom Marathon drew nearly 1,000 participants from all over the country.

Why a "virtual" marathon over the course of a month?

"We are all moms, and finding time on the weekend to run in a race does not always happen," Morse says. "This way you can run with or without your children at your own leisure. It is a race but it is not about who finishes first or fastest. All who complete the race are winners."

Secondly, she said, the Joggermom Marathon is meant "to give back to other Moms. May is the month all of us mothers are recognized. Why not do something for ourselves this month with a promise to become more fit?"

This is a great incentive for moms who are not runners -- or who are, but don't run long distances -- to log miles for a month and challenge themselves to improve their endurance and overall fitness.

If that healthy goal isn't enough incentive, Morse is offering some sweet prizes, especially jogging strollers.

Also, this year, 10 percent of each $10 entry fee will be donated to the American Heart Association.

Registration's open through April 30. Starting on May 1, participants will record their running miles to submit to Joggermom. (Runners must be able to verify their mileage with some kind of electronic tracking device, which is not included with the entry fee.) The goal is to complete 26.2 miles by May 31.

For more information, see the Joggermom Marathon site by clicking here.

To register, visit the Evite page for the Joggermom Marathon, by clicking here.

Full disclosure: Morse is a running partner of mine.

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

If your child harbors a love of dinosaurs, check out the Western Science Center's exhibit "Be the Dinosaur!," which runs through April 29.

The exhibit uses interactive technology to let visitors "think like a dinosaur," its press release says. Youngsters can control their own simulated dinosaur.

The center just added dinosaur fossils to the exhibit, including "eye horns, a rib bone and vertebra from a Triceratops ... and a juvenile jaw and toe bones from a Hadrosaur."

The Western Science Center is at 2345 Searl Parkway in Hemet, CA 92543. For more information, call 951- 791‐0033, or see www.WesternScienceCenter.org.

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

My daughter used fancy scrapbooking paper and pastel crayons Sunday for the first time in months, to create a Valentine's Day card for me. Nothing seems to inspire art projects more than love notes!

What if, after handing you a handmade masterpiece, your child asks why we reserve such sweet nothings for today? The answer isn't clear - or all lovey-dovey happy, either. If your child's a grade-schooler, give him an edited version of the story. If he's a teenager, he might actually like the dark, murky details.

AmericanCatholic.org (keeper of biographical information on saints) and The History Channel explain that St. Valentine may have been a priest in early Christianity, executed by the Roman Emperor Claudius II on Feb. 14. Or he was a Catholic bishop. Or a priest who married couples in secret, defying one of Claudius' laws. And he possibly befriended his jailer's daughter. The church notes it's unclear exactly how many Saint Valentines really existed, and whether any of them may have lived in Africa rather than modern-day Italy.

"The roots of St. Valentine's Day lie in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, which was celebrated on Feb. 15," American Catholic adds. "For 800 years the Romans dedicated this day to the god Lupercus. On Lupercalia, a young man would draw the name of a young woman in a lottery and would keep the woman as a sexual companion for the year.

Pope Gelasius I didn't like this much, "so he changed the lottery to have both young men and women draw the names of saints whom they would then emulate for the year," American Catholic says. Men continued to see the date as a time to seek women's affections.

The History Channel's research tells a Valentine-vs.-Claudius story: War-loving Claudius needed a large army, but soldiers sometimes resisted joining. Claudius thought Roman men balked because they were so attached to their wives and families. So he banned marriage. Valentine continued to marry young couples in secret. When Claudius found out, he had Valentine executed, on Feb. 14, about the year 278 A.D.

"Legend also has it that while in jail, St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it, 'from your Valentine,' " The History Channel says. "For his great service, Valentine was named a saint after his death."

But History Channel experts also note the existence of the Lupercalia festival - and that the Catholic Church is aware of possibly three different Valentines who were named saints, all of them for martyrdom and all linked to the date Feb. 14. "One was a priest in Rome, the second one was a bishop of Interamna (now Terni, Italy)," The History Channel said, "and the third St. Valentine was a martyr in the Roman province of Africa."

Maybe it's best to tell curious children that Feb. 14 is a date linked to all kinds of efforts to encourage people to love each other - whether through chance, marriage or an unlikely friendship.

Then give them a hug and a kiss, unquestionable signs of love from Mom.

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Valentine's Day is in two days. But no pressure! You've figured out how to express your love to your significant other, right?

Assuming you have, maybe turn your attention to your children. They likely view Valentine's Day as another candyfest at school. The holiday often comes with chocolate, candy, or cupcakes for the classroom. The fact that sweet little treats are supposed to symbolize one's strong feelings from the heart is probably secondary to anyone young enough to wear shoes that light up.

Does your family expand the meaning of Valentine's Day beyond romantic love, to include parents expressing love for their children?

In our house, I'll mark the occasion by baking a to-die-for chocolate peanut butter cake. Cake isn't revolutionary. But we don't bake from scratch very often, and this particular recipe's a reliable favorite, so it's an easy way to keep all four of us feeling we've received something out of the ordinary. Besides, it fits in our recession-shrunken budget and the kids feel they're getting something indulgent.

If you want to avoid the dessert-heavy route, though, there are other gifts and activities you can share with kids that don't involve sugar highs.

Tackle a ceramics project together at one of those do-it-yourself pottery places. The bonus: You end up with a plate, mug or photo frame you can use all year.

If your kids enjoy crafts but homemade Valentine's cards are too predictable, ask them to make bookmarks. Arlene and Herbert Erlbach's book, "Valentine's Day Crafts," is aimed at children. It suggests giving the kids red construction paper, lightweight cardboard and a hole punch to create the bookmarks. Cut hearts or other shapes from the paper. Glue them to wide strips of cardboard. Decorate the bookmark with crayons or markers (you can't go wrong with glitter, either), punch a hole in one end and thread yarn or ribbon through the hole to make a tassel. Ta-da!

The folks at SheKnows.com (essentially an online women's magazine) posted a thoughtful article about gift-free Valentine's Day celebrations (see it here).

"There's something about Valentine's Day and poems that goes hand-in-hand," says SheKnows, "and there's something about rhyming and kids that goes hand-in-hand." Hence, challenge your children to write love poems. Get them started by penning a few roses-are-red verses to them yourself, the site says.

SheKnows proposes more lovey fun for families in another post (read that one here): Hiding paper hearts throughout the house. Cut out lots of hearts from construction paper and stash them under pillows, in pockets, on mirrors, etc. Writing messages on them is a plus -- after all, everyone loves love letters, even from Mom!-- but totally optional.

Want to reinforce lessons about giving that you taught your kids during the December holidays? Making a charitable donation taps into children's best impulses. Let your child choose a flock of chicks, ducks or bunnies to buy via Heifer.com; the animals go to a Third-World family who raise them for income. Oxfam's "Unwrapped Gifts" includes things such as trees or meal programs (find the website for that program by clicking here.)

Or click here for The Goods, an online "store" organized by The Huffington Post and Causecast that lets you browse through items or projects identified by more than 100 charities that will help the needy (for example, a 20-year supply of clean drinking water, paid for with a $20 donation).

The Huffington Post suggests many other Valentine's Day gifts and donations that also support a variety of causes, besides those offered by The Goods. Click here for that information.

Finally, send your child a Valentine's Day message to be posted on the Momarama blog! Write a love note, 20 words or less, to post on Feb. 14.

Share it (or any of your thoughts on parenting), by emailing pe.momarama@yahoo.com, or posting it to the comments on blogs.inlandsocal.com/moms; or Momarama's page on Facebook.

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Ed Strong has run the Canyon Lake Cotillion for 14 years. This Cotillion program teaches ballroom dancing and etiquette to middle-schoolers, a tough audience for formal white gloves and lectures on place settings. But a generation of Canyon Lake-area youth have gone through Cotillion (before Strong, under founder Margene Ziff).

How to best instill proper manners in today's kids? After all, they're growing up in a world of texting -- and worse, "sexting" -- road rage and "social" media that may actually prevent them from learning how to behave when they're face-to-face with another human being. Momarama asked Strong for his thoughts on the state of modern manners, and perhaps how to polish them.

Momarama: People love to complain that our society lacks manners. Do you agree? Why is this so?

Strong: Yes, I do agree. People love to complain about someone else's behavior, but so many of these same people are the ones who should take a good look at themselves and the way they approach a situation. Sadly, we are living in a me-me-me society.

Momarama: At Cotillion, you teach etiquette to dozens of middle-schoolers at a time. Any tips for parents on how to teach their own kids etiquette -- practical techniques that work?

Strong: The easiest way is to enroll them in some Cotillion-type program. ... With the Cotillion members, I'm an outsider. They sit and listen to me and think to themselves, they hear the same stuff at home all the time from their parents; maybe there is something to it. ... I ask parents to let me know if there's a particular subject they'd like me to approach.

Parents can teach etiquette in a fun way with stars on the refrigerator door or something similar. I don't allow Cotillion members to say "yeah" or "thanks." The minute they say it, they realize what they've done. They usuall correct themselves (to say "yes" or "thank you"), we both laugh about it and continue with whatever we were doing. Each time it happens it's a learning situation for them. Consistency is very important. They seldom use [those terms] around me. Sadly, when they get home or at school the parent or teacher will.

Momarama: I'm sure most kids roll their eyes at the idea of improving their manners. Like, how boring, dude. What, if anything, do you tell them to make them understand why manners deserve some attention and effort?

Strong: Fortunately they don't roll their eyes at me. Probably a better way to say it is, I don't notice if they roll their eyes during their lecture. However, they yawn a lot. I chalk that up to the fact that it's Friday and they're tired!

I tell them all the time that a particular thing I'm saying is something they will absolutely face in the future, and they should learn it and practice it now and have it handy when the occasion occurs. At the very least they hopefully will recall there's a rule to apply when the situation comes up.

Momarama: Have you ever had Cotillion graduates come back and tell you that the etiquette training you gave them paid off?

Strong: This happens every so often. ... Sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with emotion when it does. Just a month or so ago, I was at an event and saw this young lady. She came up to me and shook my hand perfectly, looked me in the eyes, introduced herself and said she was a Cotillion member six or seven years ago. She thanked me for all the things she learned, and the one she remembered most was how to set a table and specifically where the forks were placed.

Another time, a young lady called and asked if I would brush up her brother and her East Coast swing routines and teach her father the waltz, because she was getting married and thought that would be so perfect for the reception.

Momarama: What's the single most important etiquette lesson for parents to pass along to children? Table manners? Saying "please" and "thank you?" The ability to make eye contact when someone's addressing them? We have to start somewhere!

Strong: All the basic ones you mentioned are so very important. Probably table manners would be the one all of us need. I tell kids that "you are never more visible than you are when you are eating." People all the way across the room can see how your table manners are, and that table manners are a direct reflection on your upbringing.

The parents have to realize they are the primary role models. ... I hate to say it, [but] too many parents haven't been taught proper manners. How can they teach their kids what's proper when they were never taught it themselves? Buy a good book on the subject of manners. I reference "365 Manners Kids Should Know" by Sheryl Eberly. Another is ''Etiquette for Dummies."

Momarama: You've said that Cotillion's ballroom dancing instruction is in itself a form of etiquette lessons. How is this so?

Strong: The dancing is incidential to the etiquette. The dancing forces the kids to closely interact with each other and tends to help with their socialization. Another thing we do is sit [them] boy-girl-boy-girl. A bonus from this is that it cuts down on the noise!

Momarama: Can you name anyone most kids would know who strikes you as a well-mannered individual? There are so many coarse, rude personalities on TV, in sports, in the news, in the entertainment and arts worlds, etc., and these are where our kids find role models.

Strong: Isn't it sad that I can't think of anyone the kids might know right off the bat. You'd think that their teachers would be good role models but I don't feel that is generally true any longer. We certainly can't say politicians. I guess that I would say members of the clergy. They would probably come closest to being used as role models. Derek Fisher, point guard for the Lakers, has always impressed me. He just presents himself as a confident, kind, learned person. I have yet to hear anything derogatory about him. I'm sure there are others out there ... I say again, the parents' behavior is the best teaching tool, but there has to be constancy.

My kids grew up watching Mr. Rogers. I believe his reruns are still on TV. If they aren't, they should be! He seemed to be a great role model for the little ones. The seeds have to be planted very early. Consistency is the most important thing, and that old Golden Rule can and should be called upon at any time.

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Diane Mitchell, a Momarama reader from Hemet, wrote in about the flap over Susan G. Komen for the Cure's decision last week to stop giving money to Planned Parenthood.

Komen gives about $700,000 annually to Planned Parenthood for breast exams and mammogram referrals, many for low-income women. The organization said it had a new policy banning financial support to organizations under investigation; Congress is investigating whether Planned Parenthood illegally used federal money to pay for abortions.

On Friday the Komen organization reversed itself, agreeing to once again give grants to Planned Parenthood.

Today Komen's senior vice president of public policy, Karen Handel, resigned. To read more on that, click here.

Mitchell emailed to say:

"You are so right to point out the high emotional elements of this issue.

"As a woman over 60, I have watched women die of breast cancer, and survive it; I have known women whose lives were saved by the ability to abort unplanned pregnancies; and I have agonized over discarded fetuses as I dealt with my own inability to carry any pregnancy to term.

"I truly can see all sides of this issue, and so I try to be guided not by emotion, but by what is rational and what is best for women's health. Knowledge is indeed power and it has been proven repeatedly that when women can plan their families, the entire community benefits.

"So it is clear to me that comprehensive health care must be available to all girls and women, and that includes choices that some may disapprove. Abortion should be safely available to those women who need it; and politicians should not come between any woman and her medical advisors.

I am amazed and sad that we are still arguing about this in the 21st century!"

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Despite perpetual browbeating from me, my children's manners still need work.

Conversations with Son, age 12, go like this:

Me: "In five minutes, please set the table."
Son: (Silence.)
Me: "Son, I need you to set the table soon."
Son: (Silence.)
Me: "Did you hear me?"
Son: "I said 'uh-huh'!"

Daughter, 9, has surly moments marked by that grate-on-Mom's-nerves whine.

So it's a relief when people say my children are sweet and respectful. The father of one of Daughter's friends once told me Daughter "is always welcome here. She's a good girl, and so polite!" (I kept mum about the verbal brawl that preceded their play date.) In restaurants she unfailingly says "chicken nuggets, please," to the server - without prompting. One of Son's instructors pointed out Son's kindness to one of his elders. Apparently he actually uttered a sentence containing the words "yes" and "please" at an intelligible volume.

It takes effort to raise well-mannered kids. After all, who has energy for this after battling to get out the door in the morning and checking homework in the afternoon? Experts say the work starts with us.

"In today's electronic age, I find that many children are not learning proper manners because they do not see proper manners at home or at school," said Marianne Cohen, with Mannersmith Etiquette, a Marblehead, Mass.-based firm teaching manners to "children to CEOs." (See Mannersmith.com.)

The daily rush often doesn't allow a meal together, "where the children can see proper manners at play," she said, "and learn the art of carrying on a conversation."

"The best way to ensure a child is displaying proper manners is to role-model correct behavior," Cohen said. "If the parent has a smart phone, not texting at the table or leaving it on the table will show their child the correct way to behave."

(Momarama's resident marriage and family therapist, Mitchell Rosen, recently wrote about the impact of a hand-written thank you note. Read that column here.)

Cohen asked middle-schoolers, " 'If a group of us are in a conversation and suddenly turn around and walk away, is this rude?' And their answer was a resounding 'yes.' But then I asked, 'If we are in a group conversation and I receive a text, and text back in front of all of you, is that rude?' " They got it.

Cohen suggests mealtime games. In one, everyone pretends to be a different member of the family. "In addition to your mimicking their behaviors, it is always interesting to see what they have picked up from your behaviors. After the meal, switch back ... Ask what was good and what was bad and how you can all work on being more polite going forward."

Another game: Put a small bowl by each person's plate. "The adults' should be empty. The children's should have about 20 small pieces of candy. Set down a few rules, such as "chew with your mouth closed," and "ask with 'please'/'thank you.' When a child forgets a rule, the adult takes one piece of candy from the child's bowl and places it in the adult's bowl. ... Once the adults have a few pieces in their bowls, they can also make mistakes and allow the kids to win back their candy."

Etiquette seems archaic and prissy, but manners never go out of style. "[A] lack of social confidences and graces will become more apparent as children move into their teen years and begin interacting with adults more," Cohen said. "This deficit will impact them greatly. Not being able to look an adult in the eye or carry on a proper conversation by saying 'yes' instead of 'uh-huh' will mean the difference of not acing the admissions or job interview."

Pass the nice tone of voice, please.

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Should Susan G. Komen for the Cure, the giant breast cancer nonprofit, yank funding from Planned Parenthood?

That's the question at the center of last week's firestorm surrounding Komen, which until now enjoyed a saintly reputation as a nonprofit raising huge sums for breast cancer research and to pay for mammograms, the most commonly used screening tool for breast tumors.

Planned Parenthood, on the other hand, has no such luxury when it comes to image. Because about 3 percent of the services this nonprofit provides are abortions (the 2010 figure cited by the group's website), it has been a longtime lightning rod in the perpetual American debate over the legality and morality of abortion.

In the past five years, Planned Parenthood used Komen grants to provide about 170,000 breast exams and more than 6,400 mammogram referrals, according to the Planned Parenthood website. Screenings for several cancers comprised 14.5 percent of its services in 2010. The site also notes that many of its clients are low-income women with little other access to medical care.

When Komen announced it would halt grants to Planned Parenthood, it faced a blizzard of protest from women accusing it of caving to anti-abortion politics. Komen CEO Nancy Brinker denied this, responding without intitially mentioning Planned Parenthood by name, that the reason for the change was an updated funding policy that excludes groups under federal, state or local investigation. (Congress is investigating whether Planned Parenthood illegally used federal money for abortions.)

On Friday, Brinker reversed the decision, saying Komen will amend its policy, to only block funding to groups under investigations that are "criminal and conclusive in nature and not political."

I feel sorry for Brinker, clearly blindsided by an angry public. You can't go near the topic of abortion without fanning an inferno. Apparently, legions of women who until now harbored only respect and gratitude for Komen felt personally betrayed by a decision they felt would limit access to mammograms.

If you or a loved one have had breast cancer - or if you've watched someone succumb to it - you understand the emotions of last week's controversy. This cancer affects one in eight American women at some point in their life. I once attended a fitness event with about 10 other women. The instructor mentioned this statistic, looked around our little circle and said: "That means at least one of us will have breast cancer someday. Which one of us will it be?" The memory still gives me chills.

Breast cancer's the third-largest killer of American women, after heart disease and lung cancer. Komen predicts 39,510 U.S women will die of it this year. Most are over 40, but the disease can strike at mercilessly young ages, at women in their 30s or younger whose children are only babies. The elderly aren't spared either. My grandmother required a lumpectomy - her only bout with breast cancer - in her 80s. Breast cancer claims mothers, wives, sisters, daughters.

The good news? Nearly all women whose breast cancer's caught before spreading beyond the breast survive at least five years, according to Komen. The greatest tools for early detection: Self-exams and mammograms. In theory, applying the 1-in-8 ratio, mammograms could save more than 19 million women.

Will those millions of mothers and daughters care whether their mammogram is provided by a clinic that also performs abortions? (Or, for that matter, one under Congressional investigation for something unrelated to mammograms?)

Which of Komen's decisions last week - to pull funding from Planned Parenthood, regardless of the reason, or to restore it - was the right one?

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Did you catch the pushup challenge between Ellen DeGeneres and First Lady Michelle Obama this week?

Thursday's episode of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" featured an appearance by Obama, to promote her "Let's Move!" campaign to fight childhood obesity.

DeGeneres hauled a class of grade-schoolers and a fitness trainer onto the set to show off some basic cardio movies. Obama happily joined in.

In my house, though, what got the most attention was the pushup contest DeGeneres sprung on the FLOTUS. After some playful banter, Obama tossed off her jacket and both women dropped to the floor for a set of pushups -- the full-body, "man-style" ones, mind you, not any prissy bend-your-knees version.

Obama did 25 pushups, besting Degeneres by at least four or five -- and she didn't even seem out of breath. (To see a video clip, click here.)

My 9-year-old, who copies anything a beautiful older woman does, and my 12-year-old, whose had a bit of pushup training between gym class and a few karate lessons, didn't say much about this performance. But neither could take their eyes off it, either.

How cool is it that a famous female entertainer and the powerful and glamorous First Lady of the United States are both fit enough to drop for 20 on a moment's notice?

Earlier chitchat between DeGeneres and Obama touched on the "normal" life the Obamas try to maintain for their two daughters, ages 10 and 13 -- including household chores the girls are still required to do, White House address or not. Turns out the Obama kids are supposed to make their beds, take care of their dog and do the laundry. Wow, how familiar!

My kids seemed less impressed by the presidential model of chores than the one on fitness. Well, one of two isn't bad for an evening in front of the TV?

Do your kids know who Michelle Obama is? Are they familiar with the causes she promotes? Would watching a female national celebrity flex her muscles on TV make them sit up and take notice?

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Healthy Child, Healthy World, has a very informative conversation with pediatrician Dr. Robert Sears on its website, healthychild.org

This Los Angeles-based nonprofit group's mission is to "empower parents to protect children from harmful chemicals."

Sears wrote "The Autism Book," and just this question-and-answer session alone provides a good primer on what the medical community knows, and doesn't, about autism.

To read the full interview, click here.

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BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA MOM-IN-CHIEF

Moms know it's hard to take off the "baby weight," even many months after giving birth.

There are plenty of reasons this baby fat likes to stick around: hormones, sleep deprivation, less time for workouts or preparing health foods. Of course, nibbling mac-n-cheese and chicken nuggets from your child's plate doesn't help.

Rachael Pontillo is a mom who is quite familiar with all of that, yet she managed to lose 70 lbs. after bearing her second child.

Pontillo is a wellness coach, among other things, who blogs about health and wellness and runs her own company, Holistically Haute.

This week she penned a no-nonsense piece about how she shed those 70 lbs., despite all the usual demands of motherhood. And she offers up strategies on how to teach young children to appreciate healthy food.

Some of her advice? Eat whole, raw foods. Pick exercise you love and never commit to exercise you hate. Don't be a short-order cook.

To read Pontillo's full article, click here.

Now go find an apple.

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