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BY MARY CALAHAN
GUEST MOM

Good morning!

I had a good laugh at your daughter's antics over cell phone use.
I am the mom of four teens (18, 16, 14 and 11).

Our rule is that in high school, if they can justify the use of a cell phone by being involved in sports, band or theatre with crazy rehearsal schedules, then they can earn the privilege of a cell phone.

We add them to our family plan, with unlimited texting - we all know that kids don't call, they text.

However, if they want a smart phone or to be connected to the internet, then I'm not paying - they will need to pay that cost on their own.

The cell phone is for my ease of mind only, and a way to contact me for rides or if practices run late. They have to agree that I am able to review texts at any time, or the phone is taken away.

We have a similar policy for Facebook - it's a high school thing. Mom must be on your friend list, and I have now added that I must have the passwords as well. It's hard to pull off much when all the aunts, uncles and cousins are also listed on your Facebook site as friends!

It is hard to be one of the only parents who sees that some so-called "necessary" items are truly just wants, and are more distraction than they are worth. Not to mention the hit they are on a limited budget!

Thank you for being willing to share your family story.

FROM DR. MOM:
I had similar concerns about getting a dog.

We now have two, and the best investment I made was taking the dogs to training classes - and making the kids go, too.

The kids and dogs bonded, they all learned new tricks, and we enjoy having well-behaved dogs.

I still have to remind the kids to do the dog work, but they are more invested in the dogs and tend to follow through without too much complaint. Now if only the children were as well-trained as the dogs.

To join the conversation, post a comment here or send an email to features@pe.com

DEAR MOMARAMA:
We too had dogs and as with you it mostly landed on me. So I made a spreadsheet with each child's name and placed it on the fridge. Every week the names would rotate in order.

The chores were dishes, feed and pick up dog poop, and cut the grass.

No one could complain because it rotated weekly.

It was also tied to their allowance.

If they failed to do the assigned chore on any given day, they lost part of their allowance. They were allowed to trade with one another if need be, but they had to work it out and put it on the spreadsheet.

It worked out well and no one felt overly put upon.

They also cleaned their own bathrooms and if it was not to my specs (thinking I would not make them do it anymore) they got to do it twice.

There will always be more that falls on one person, nothing is 50/50. Sometimes it's the little things that help. And trust me there was plenty of yelling in our household.

Best of luck, Theresa

To join the conversation, post a comment here or send an email to features@pe.com

BY MAURA AMMENHEUSER
MOMARAMA'S MOM-IN-CHIEF

As you read this, it's possible our new puppy is chewing my shoes, soiling the carpet or whining while I try to meet a deadline.

It's also possible that he's napping peacefully in his crate, amusing himself batting a toy around the kitchen or waiting patiently by the front door for my children to return from school.

Please God, let it be the latter.

After 15 years of marriage and winning many battles, I finally lost the dog war. Hubby's wanted a dog all this time. My biggest objection has been fear that the doggy work will fall to me.
I'm a stay-at-home mom, but have more chores than I can handle already.

I resent that nothing in the house - not the kitchen floor, the toilets, the cars or even the kids' teeth, for crying out loud - ever gets cleaned unless (a) I clean it, (b) I nag somebody else to clean it or (c) nag somebody else to clean it, then go check whether it actually got cleaned, then yell at the slacker who clearly didn't clean it regardless of my nagging, then issue punishment to the slacker, then do at least half the cleaning chore myself while the punished slacker is throwing a hissy fit.

Hubby and slackers - oops, I mean my children - swear they will take on all dog-related chores. According to a poll of my stay-at-home mom friends, I can expect one of two outcomes. Either Hubby and Kids will in fact, out of sheer love for the dog, miraculously, cheerfully and without nagging by me perform all dog work (walking, poop-scooping, feeding, watering, grooming, etc.).

Don't laugh. I have several friends who said their kids -same ages as mine - really do care for their dogs as a matter of routine.

The other predicted outcome: Hubby and Kids will gladly perform all dog work until the novelty of having a pet wears off. The moment the dog needs something (a) unexpected, (b) unpleasant or (c) at a time when I'm the only one home (which, for five hours a day, five days a week, I am), the dog-related task will most definitely become my responsibility. I've warned Hubby that if the dog gets sick at 11 a.m. I will summon him from work, 40 miles away, to take the pooch to the vet. Hubby said I have a bad attitude.

Hey, whenever our kids have come home sick from school, it's always been my job to drop everything to run to the pediatrician. I agreed to have children. I was outvoted on the dog. I think putting Hubby Who Wants Dog So Badly permanently on-call for the vet is perfectly fair.

In the weeks between buying the dog and picking it up from the breeder, Hubby's been emailing me photos of the puppy, a Bichon, white and fluffy with a sweet little pink tongue and a happily wagging tail. You just want to reach into the photo and scoop him up for a snuggle. I know what Hubby's doing. I am not fooled. I'm OK with the puppy love. Retreiving Hubby's iPhone from the puppy's teething little mouth is still not my job.

So how do parents ensure kids live up to the responsibility of pet ownership (and in my case, that my spouse does), without lots of resentful nagging? Is one of us going to be forever in the doghouse? Or will the puppy lead us to a state of permanent, pet-induced familial bliss?

Post your comments here or send email to features@pe.com (place MOMARAMA in the subject field, please).

This week I covered a lot of road again, visiting Banning, San Jacinto, Hemet and Murrieta.

I saw the Dorothy Ramon Learning Center in Banning for the first time. The center is dedicated to maintaining and sharing the cultures, languages, history and traditional arts of the American Indian nations of Southern California.

I met founder and president Ernest Siva (Cahuilla/Serrano), who is busy, busy planning for an expansion of the center into the old downtown Post Office building next door that was recently purchased. He also plans to expand into two adjacent lots on the other side of the building, with an ethnobotanical garden.

I also saw the Western Science Center in Hemet for the first time, where I learned a brand new charter middle school, Western Center Academy, is halfway through it's first year at the center.

Western Science Center houses a museum with a focus on paleontology, archeology, culture and earth science history, as well as research labs and a curation facility. Nearly 1 million specimens, artifacts and documentation are housed at the center.

Principal Paul Bailey was going through a shipment of 100 new iPads when I arrived Wednesday. He said by next semester they hoped to have enough for the entire student body.

Another stop this week was the Golden Era Golf Course in San Jacinto where I met volunteer Keith Lundy. For the last several years he has organized a free golf clinic for disabled veterans. After running into some budget problems with the VA hospital, he expanded the program to mentally and physically challenged adults with the Exceed program. This year's clinic began last month and Lundy has 12 students training for a tournament in June.

Lundy is a retired non-combat Army veteran who simply saw a TV blurb on a similar program in the Long Beach area and decided he could do something similar in San Jacinto. So he did.

My last stop of the week was at Oak Grove Center in Murrieta, a non-public school that works with students who are at-risk and have emotional and learning disabilities. About a year and a half ago, the school began a new autism program and now the Perris campus is adding a new class because the response has been so great.

The Murrieta campus has two low-functioning autism classes that house students aged 8 to 15, as well as a high-functioning class that does vocational training. The Perris campus class will have a combination.

On Thursday I met with the Teacher Cheryl Monahan, and Counselor Pam Shey for a tour of one of the classrooms. It was amazing. The kids learn sensory lessons, manners, sing songs, do writing activities, computer lab, etc. Each student has a picture schedule customized to their ability. The schedule may have cartoon pictures, photos or written words.

This week sounded a little tough since the students just returned from winter break, but everyone was in good spirits.

The year is quickly coming to a close, which means resolutions time. As usual mine are focused on getting organized (a never-ending battle), better health and financial goals. I think instead of lists this year, I'm going to focus on the right mindset.

So here's the plan:

First, I'll have a better attitude. Even though it might seem like EVERYTHING is going wrong sometimes, I won't give in and wallow - despite the fact that a good wallow can be tempting.

Second, I won't sweat the little things. So my daughter sometimes chooses outfits so mismatched they make my eyes cross. So our snotty cat is obsessed with sharpening her claws in one random spot in our living room (despite my constant attempts at covering it so she can't get at it). So the pretty tan interior of my car doesn't look so new and pretty anymore no matter how much I scrub. So what.

Third, I'll take things one at a time. I want to be better organized - with everything from bill paying to my closets. But it can't all be done in a day. Boo. So my goal is to hack at these things a little at a time until the effort pays off.

OK, I guess I made a list after all. But I like lists. Whatever works. If you have goals, lists, ambitions or plans for 2010 that you'd like to share, please make a comment or shoot me an e-mail at jdean@PE.com and I'd be happy to post.

To get the recipe sharing going, here's a good pumpkin roll recipe:

The Associated Press

Ingredients
3 eggs
1 c sugar
2/3 c canned pumpkin
3/4 c all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 c chopped walnuts
Confectioners sugar for dusting
1 c confectioners' sugar
3/4 tsp vanilla extract
2 Tbl butter, softened
8 oz cream cheese

Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Grease a 15x10x1 inch baking pan and line with parchment paper. Grease and flour the paper.

In a large bowl, beat eggs on high for three minutes. Slowly add white sugar and canned pumpkin. Add flour, cinnamon, and baking soda. Spread batter evenly in pan, and then sprinkle walnuts on top.

Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 15 minutes or until cake springs back when lightly touched. Immediately turn out onto a linen towel dusted with confectioners sugar. Peel off paper and roll cake up in the towel, starting with the short end. Cool.

Filling Directions
Mix confectioners sugar, vanilla, butter or margarine, and cream cheese together until smooth.

Carefully unroll the cake. Spread filling over cake to within 1 inch of edges. Roll up again. Cover and chill until serving. Dust with additional confectioners sugar.

Believe it or not, it's already time to start thinking holidays. I guess I'll swap out the "Happy Halloween" sign on the front door for the more generic "fall" wreath (even though that'll have to be switched to the Christmas wreath in a few short weeks).

It always seems like life goes in warp speed at this time of year. But one of my favorite things about the holidays is the baking. I finally have an excuse to whip up chocolate, peanut butter and butterscotch fudge, make sparkly, sprinkles-encrusted sugar cookies and try my hand at all kinds of fun new recipes.

The Associated Press

One year we did homemade raviolis. We made a giant mess and they might've been the biggest raviolis ever, but they were a blast to make and quite tasty. With my family, we tend to do traditional turkey plus Italian and/or Mexican food. We'll see what new concoctions sound good for this Thanksgiving and Christmas. In the meantime, we've got several weeks to start experimenting.

I'll begin posting some favorite recipes, but I'd love to get some new ones. Please share you're old and new favorites by posting a comment, or e-mail me at jdean@PE.com and I'll get it up on the blog.

Thanks for sharing and welcome to the holidays!

Riverside County is now administering injectable vaccines against the H1N1 virus at three of its 10 family-care clinics.

The vaccines arrived Tuesday and are being given at its Riverside, Perris and Palm Springs clinics, said Barbara Cole, the county's director of disease control. The limited distribution is because there are only 1,600 doses available. More are expected in coming weeks.

Until supply increases, the injectable vaccines are only being administered to pregnant women, those aged 6 months to 24 years, people who live with or care for infants 6 months or younger, people 25 to 64 with chronic diseases, and emergency and medical personnel.

The county began administering a nasal spray vaccine on Oct. 15. That vaccine is only being offered at this time to children aged 2 to 12.

Private physicians also have supplies of the two vaccines, Cole said. Flu clinics are planned for local schools and childcare centers as additional supplies of the vaccines become available.

For information on swine flu, call 211. To schedule an appointment at a county clinic, call 800-720-9553.

David Olson
-dolson@PE.com

Cal State San Bernardino has created a new Web page to provide information about prevention and treatment of seasonal and H1N1 flu.

The Web page is accessed through the link, "Flu Central," on the campus home page, which is www.csusb.edu, or at www.csusb.edu/flucentral.

The Web page includes information about flu symptoms, prevention tips, health information and links to online resources. The university's H1N1 Influenza central Web page will be regularly updated updated.

Seasonal flu vaccines are available for university students for $10 and staff for $25 at the student health center while supplies last. Students also may go to the student health center Web site at http://healthcenter.csusb.edu/default.htm for a list of San Bernardino County clinics offering vaccinations.

The H1N1 vaccine is to be available next month and first available to people with a higher risk of influenza complications.

Contact the University Student Health Center at 909-537-5241 for information.

See other flu-related blogs here.

The San Bernardino County Department of Public Health offered these tips for packing a safe lunch for kids:

Start out clean. Wash your hands prior to and during food preparation. Store food in clean containers. Don't just dump the crumbs out of containers from the previous day. Wipe out lunch boxes with soap and water. Scrub apples and other fruit to remove dirt and pesticides.

Keep things cool. Use kid-friendly insulated lunch bugs or lunch boxes to keep items at 41 degrees F or below. Cut sandwiches into smaller portions to ensure they stay evenly cooled. Chilling the food and bag overnight can help keep items cold until lunch time. Mini ice packs, frozen juice boxes and water bottles are also good ways to help keep food items cool.

Know what needs to be chilled. Items that are normally in the refrigerator such as string cheese, yogurt, lunchmeat and leftovers will need to remain cool until mealtime. Fruit and veggies are fine at room temperature but taste better cold.

Keep hot food hot. Lunches containing items like soup and chili should be kept at 135 degrees F or above by using an insulated container. If using a thermos, preheat the thermos with hot water and let stand for a few minutes, then refill with hot food.

Don't use the same water bottle over and over again without proper washing and refrigeration. Food particles and germs can accumulate and harbor bacteria that can make a child sick.

Pack a hand wipe. Always encourage your child to wash their hands prior to eating. Packing a hand wipe sends a subtle reminder that they should wash their hands before delving into that scrumptious lunch.

For more information visit www.sbcounty.gov/dehs.

Disney's "Family Fun" magazine compiled a list of 14 fun back-to-school strategies by asking readers to share some of their best ideas for transitioning back to the school year. Here's what they came up with:

Shift From Summer Mode to School-Year Tempo
Count the Days: Make a countdown calendar with cardboard tubes to mark the last week of summer and as a fun way to present kids with their new school supplies.

Jazz Up Your Supplies: Pick a piece of back-to-school gear, like a white metal lunchbox or plain messenger bag, and embellish with stickers, iron-ons and fabric paints. Personalized items make for great conversation-starters with potential new friends.

A new school year for many is cause for excitement, but it can also prompt jitters -- not just in children but in parents as well. Before the sweaty palms and butterflies grow into severe anxiety, experts say, families can act now to make school days a little brighter.

SEPARATION ANXIETY
First 5 Riverside is partnering with Perris Elementary School District for a parent orientation/health safety fair Friday at the Rob Reiner Center and one of the big topics that will be discussed is separation anxiety.

Some of the most nervous students and parents are in the preschool and kindergarten groups, said Carol Jimenez, director of child development programs for Perris Elementary School District.

"A lot of times it's the parents who are very anxious," Jimenez said. "So we talk about separation, introduce the families to the teacher, show them the classrooms and review the parent handbook."

Parents often worry more if the child hasn't had much experience interacting with other children, but Jimenez has found that most children become engaged quickly and make a smooth adjustment.

GETTING ENOUGH Z'S
Children of any age should establish a good sleeping routine before the new year begins. The National Health Institute recommends at least nine hours of sleep each night, even more for younger children.

"Routine is so important," said Carol Abella, program specialist in First 5 Riverside's early care and education department. "Children should have lots of rest and a good night's sleep, a good breakfast in the morning and lots of encouragement."

For parents who are struggling with a child who fights sleep every night, the agency offers tips such as having a consistent bedtime and creating a cool, comfortable sleeping environment free of distraction. Parents can also consult with teachers or attend a workshop on the subject.

WORKING TOGETHER
Many kids are nervous on the first day of school, but for some the feelings of anxiety continue weeks into the school year. For those students it may be necessary to work with educators and counselors at the school to calm the fears.

Diane Peters Mayer is a Pennsylvania-based psychotherapist who specializes in school anxiety and author of Overcoming School Anxiety: How to Help Your Child Deal With Separation, Tests, Homework, Bullies, Math Phobia and Other Worries. Her advice to parents is to talk things through, remain calm, work toward problem solving, cheer qualities and talents in their child and believe in their child's ability to overcome.

"Work as a team," Mayer said. "Say, 'Together we are going to figure out how to make things better for you -- I'm here for you.'"

As much as they'd like to, parents can't fix their child's problems for them, but they can provide guidance and support.

"Believe in your child's ability to work through problems and overcome adversity -- this is empowering," she said. "Also believe in your parenting skills, that you can help your child."

She tells parents to communicate with their children without judgment and no matter what, stay calm.

"Your child is worried and is counting on you to be their rock," Mayer said. "Stay calm ... this will help your child feel safe and to calm down too."

Is homework out of control? Some parents think so and many school districts across the country are thinking about following the "10-minute rule" created by Duke University psychology professor Harris Cooper. The rule says kids should get 10 minutes of homework for every grade level. That's 10 minutes of homework each night for a kindergartener and 50 minutes for a fifth grader.

The rule has been endorsed by the National PTA and the National Education Association. Most fifth graders I know have several hours of homework each night and in some cases, it's so extreme, the parents are doing projects for the kids (shhhhhhhh!) because there's just not enough time in the evenings to get it all done.

Parents seems to be split on the issue with some saying homework provides necessary repetition students need to learn a subject and Mom and Dad should step up to the plate and provide all the support needed. Others believe too much homework steals time from childhood activities kids should be free to pursue.

There's got to be a happy medium in there somewhere. Maybe this 10-minute rule could do the trick.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but back-to-school season is upon us once again. I blinked and summer vacation was nearly over. Now if someone would tell this heat wave that summer's over...

We've got about three weeks until most schools get back in session, so I'm finding school clothes, backpacks, supplies and after-school plans on the brain with increasing frequency.

Last year it was Spiderman, Ironman or Transformers for my youngest and High School Musical, Hannah Montana or anything with butterflies for the oldest. Somehow we've moved on to Tony Hawk, Star Wars, iCarly and anything with animals.

Last year I bought all kinds of school supplies and realized soon after that the kids didn't need them (except for working at home). So we ended up donating most of the stash to the classrooms. I'm guessing that kind of thing will be even more appreciated this year.

There are back-to-school checklists all over the place, but here's yet another that will hopefully help moms and dads at least START the year out organized and ready to roll.

The Big Stuff

Am I forgetting anything? Please let me know if I am! And, if you have tips for parents about shopping, getting kids ready for school, packing lunches or anything else, please share.

Lawmakers are considering modifying the state's infant safe-surrender law, extending the time period for anonymous surrender from three days after birth to 30. The bill was authored by Assemblyman Alberto Torrico, D-Newark, who said he wants to expand the life-saving law.

The bill has passed the Assembly and is being considered by the Senate Appropriations Committee. Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has vetoed three past attempts at extending the safe-surrender time frame.

The current law was initiated by Debi Faris of Yucaipa in 2000. As founder and director of Garden of Angels, she has buried 85 Inland infants since 1996. The Yucaipa-based nonprofit group holds services for babies who have died after being abandoned.

In 2000 she urged former state Sen. Jim Brulte, R-Rancho Cucamonga, to author the current safe surrender law. Since it's inception in 2001, 279 California babies have been safely surrendered - 44 from Riverside and San Bernardino counties.

"When this law was created it was created only to be used as an emergency law," Faris said.

She worries that 30 days may be too long to leave babies with parents who may not care for them properly. She pointed out that there are other options such as foster care and adoption and that the current law also has a two-week cooling off period in which parents can reclaim their children if they change their minds.

Torrico hopes that extending the time period would give confused mothers more time to consider their options. His bill includes provisions to educate mothers about the safe-surrender law, to let local agencies rather than counties designate safe-surrender sites, and to protect the sites from being dangerous for a surrendered child before discovery.

Press-Enterprise reporter Philip Riley contributed to this report.

Share your thoughts here.

Written by guest author Debbie Yocum:

Debbie Yocum
Guest Author

Any trip can take a lot of planning but with 6 kids in tow, it can be an even greater challenge. We have done the houseboat trip a few times which can be a lot of fun but can be a lot of work too. It is almost as much work as being at home except you are on the water while you cook your dinner, fold your laundry or clean your floors (which are always dirty no matter what).

I'm preparing for a family road trip and the top of the dining room table has been eclipsed by the mountain of electronic goods, car snacks, DVDs, CDs, books and more ready for packing. I like to at least START the trip organized, even though I know the car will be a mess at the end.

This isn't my first car trip with kids - that one was a doozey - so I've learned to pack each child their own separate "car packs." What was I thinking that first time with the single "share bag?" I also got fruit and veggies for the cooler - in addition to some less-healthy goodies such as Cheetos and Skittles. Mix it up or beware of the belly aches.

The DVD player, Discman (old school, no iPod yet for the 7-year-old) and Gameboys are all charged with extra batteries. The car has been tuned up and cleaned. (yeah, that won't last).

We're mapped out, almost packed up and ready to roll, but as anyone that's ever taken a road trip with children will tell you - there's bound to be some surprises and hiccups along the way.

For this week's topic, I'd love to hear your travel stories or suggestions. Please share! I'll do the same when I return...

The elephants are taking over the San Diego Zoo, or at least 7.5 acres of it. And, they are bringing friends.

The Associated Press

Ranchipur, a male Asian elephant, is seen at the new 2.5 acre Elephant Odyssey exhibit.

The Harry and Gace Steele Elephant Odyssey - the Zoo's largest exhibit undertaking to date - was unveiled last month and will be home to more than 35 species of animals.

The new $45-million animal habitat includes a 137,000-gallon pool, rolling hills, hidden drinkers and feeders and the half-acre Conrad Prebys Elephant Care Center.

Campers can belly up around the fire with ocean friends at a different kind of camp this summer. OK, the dolphins and Shamu won't be joining the kids roasting marshmallows, but summer camp season at SeaWorld is underway with the first session having begun June 14.

SeaWorld

A newborn Atlantic bottlenose dolphin calf swims alongside her mother at SeaWorld San Diego.

During the weeks of June 14-22, 4th-12th graders interested in Resident Camp sessions can spend a week at the park participating in activities such as preparing fish for animals, feeding dolphins and kayaking on Mission Bay.

Preschoolers through 12th graders can also sign up for the weeklong Day Camp sessions between June 22-Aug. 21 for days of up close and personal animal time, snorkeling and hands-on learning activities.

For more information visit www.swbg-adventurecamps.com.