Weekly Topic: February 2009 Archives

Written by guest author Debbie Yocum on the topic "Generations of Recipes":

Debbie Yocum
Guest Author

When I was growing up, my mother would make the best apple pancakes. On a Sunday morning we would hear her in the kitchen with the blender going and we knew that we were in for a treat.

Apple Pancakes

2 teaspoons of melted butter
2 teaspoons of sugar
1 teaspoon of baking powder
3/4 cups flour
1 apple quartered (with the skin still left on)
1/8th of a tea spoon of cinnamon
1 cup of milk

You need to add everything but the flour and the baking powder to the blender and run it on low speed until everything is blended. Then you add the flour and the baking powder and run the blender at high speed. Grease the skillet and then pour the batter onto the skillet. The batter will make 8 to 10 pancakes and they are actually more like little crepes than pancakes. My mother's parents were Scandinavian so crepes were more common in our house than the traditional pancakes and they are so good!! They are easy to make too.

Octuplets mom Nadya Suleman has failed to accept an offer for around-the-clock care of all 14 of her children made by "Angels in Waiting," an organization that provides individualized care by pediatric nurses and other professionals.

A week ago attorney Gloria Allred and "Angels" founder Linda West-Conforti offered Suleman and her children free medical and emotional services, as well as a place to stay and 24-hour care.

The offer included 12 caretakers for the children - which would normally cost approximately $135,000 a month. At the time the offer was made Allred stated that if Suleman didn't accept it, all 14 of her children could end up in foster care.

Allred and West-Conforti will hold a news conference today at 2 p.m. in Los Angeles to discuss the offer and Suleman's failure to accept before the deadline of Thursday at midnight. Allred will also comment on what she believes should happen next.

Ed Doud, father of Nadya Suleman, mother of 14 who has garnered so much media attention in the last several weeks, had a sit down with Oprah.

Doud, now divorced from Nadya's mother, Angela, told Oprah that Nadya wasn't herself during her interview with NBC's Anne Curry. He said she had been taken from the hospital at midnight to a secret location so she hadn't slept and was still medicated.

Oprah responded by saying that many news outlets including her show had vied for the opportunity to interview Nadya at that time and that someone had chosen that path. And, she said she thought Curry did a fine job of being sympathetic and open to her.

Doud replied that he knows his daughter well and that while she may have appeared in control to viewers, in his eyes she was not in control.

He also stated that she wanted more children in spite of already being a mother to six for religious reasons and because she trusted her doctor.

The NBC interviews aired on the "Today" and "Dateline" shows Feb. 9 and 10. Nadya Suleman gave birth to the octuplets Jan. 26 and was released from the hospital Feb. 5 after a more than two month stay.

NBC responded to Doud's comments with a statement to the Associated Press saying that Suleman was not taken from the hospital and that the interview took place at the time of her choosing.

A video of octuplets mom Nadya Suleman arguing with her mother Angela over the birth of eight more children when she already had six at home was recenty released by gossip Web site www.radaronline.com.

Angela Suleman tells her daughter, "you should have considered your six other chidren" before going through IVF again.

Nadya argues that it's in the past and you can't go back. She was unwilling to destroy any of the embryos when she found out there were eight.

A former boyfriend has also come forward stating that he wants paternity tests to see if he is the father. Denis Beaudoin told ABC's Good Morning America that he had donated sperm to Nadya Suleman before she had any children because she had asked him to.

Nadya Suleman, mother of 14 including the octuplets whose births recently caused such furor, has announced she will not have any other children. And, her mother, Angela, has made conciliatory statements toward her daughter, saying once she saw how hard her daughter has been trying to care for the newest eight grandchildren, she could no longer maintain the hard feelings.

"You can resent your daughter for just so long and then you see that she's trying so hard to take care of these children," Angela Suleman said in a CBS "The Early Show" interview posted on the network's Web Site. "She's a very good mother ... but then she had a good example.

"My goodness, these are my grandchildren. They're so tiny and fragile. I'll have to be there for them, you know, like I was for the others," she said.

The Killeen Furtney Group that had been providing publicity services for Suleman made a statement Saturday that the Los Angeles-based company would no longer act as her publicist due to death threats. The Group's president Joann Killeen stated that Nadya Suleman told her Wes Yoder, president of the Franklin, Tenn.-based company, Ambassador Agency Inc., would be representing her in the future.

However Yoder released a statement Monday saying his company was not representing the mother of 14.

Yoder's company provided publicity for the pastor Rick Warren and set up book and music deals for the McCaughey septuplets about a decade ago.

Written by Heather Parenti in response to the entry "Brown releases statement on alleged altercation":

The issue of pop-culture icons being caught doing something disreputable is common in our lives. I believe it should be discussed and explained to a child at an early age. We are in a culture of looking toward pop-culture for our identity. This is unhealthy. As a mother and psychotherapist, I encourage children to seek there own identity away from pop-culture and within their hearts and minds.

Humans make mistakes. People are not always raised with strong values. Some famous become famous because they needed to escape a tough life of violence, abuse, and poverty. Some famous people were not raised with a strong moral base. I encourage people to not be influenced by what happens in pop-culture. I encourage kids not to have role models but to be their own forces in life.

I grew up with famous people around me. My husband deals with sports figures. We do not shield our son from the mistakes of these individuals. In doing so, we encourage our son to make good choices and be aware of the negative influences around him.

Last weekend the alleged altercation between R&B singer Chris Brown, 19, and singer Rihanna, 20, hit headlines, shocking many fans. Although rumors of the couple's volatile relationship had circulated in the past.

The first response to the incident from either party was released yesterday in the form of a written statement saying he was "sorry and saddened" over his alleged assault of Rihanna.

"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired," he said. "I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones, and I am committed, with God's help, to emerging a better person."

The allegations remain vague over what took place in the early hours of Sunday, Feb. 8. The couple was in a rented Lamborghini and an alleged altercation took place shortly after midnight. Rihanna received hospital treatment for her injuries. Brown voluntarily surrendered himself to the police later that day.

TMZ reported that Rihanna herself made the call to the police after a short period of unconsciousness. They also said she was left with a bruised and bloody face and bite marks on her arms and fingers. TMZ reported that Brown will almost certainly be charged with felony domestic battery.

Brown's statement also said that "much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong."

Rihanna's father, Ronald Fenty, stated that she will speak out at some point and he hopes "she will stand up for women all over the world.

Rihanna is currently residing in her native Barbados.

Update on Weekly Topic:
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/octuplets-grandmother-isnt-hap.html
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/it-would-take-a-village.html
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/suleman-denies-receiving-welfa.html
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/worried-about-octuplets-needs.html
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/donations-site-goes-up-for-oct.html

When octuplets mom Nadya Suleman chose to emplant six more embryos to add to her family that already included six children she didn't pick the best timing. When others across the nation - especially California - are cutting back, clipping coupons and trying to hang onto their jobs (or looking for new ones) her choices led to a new bill from Kaiser Permanante sent to the state's Medicaid program that could be in upwards of several million dollars.

The fact that she receives a couple thousand a month in food stamps and SSI payments didn't increase her popularity among most of the public either. And, when that amount rises further when the newest eight of her 14 children are added to the cost, the public may like it even less.

In the latest news released yesterday it was said she is receiving death threats. Her publicist said she is staying in an undisclosed location with her older children. The octuplets remain are still under observation in the hospital.

Written by guest author Debbie Yocum on the topic "Too Many Children?"

Nadya Suleman made a very selfish decision to have more children and now she is in denial about it. The problem is that she now has 14 children to take care of and there is no possible way that she can do that by herself. The fact that she is even thinking about going to work to support them is nuts. We have a large family and we know from first hand experience that you cannot do everything yourself. You have to have help. I know the amount of laundry I do each day, the amount of groceries we have to buy. Nothing with a large family is easy or cheap but you can't go to work with 14 children at home (8 of them babies) and that is just basic common sense.

Debbie Yocum
Guest Author

I watched the Dateline program last night and it detailed her personality. I felt so sorry for the rest of her family. Her mother and her father look like good people that are doing everything that they can for their grandchildren. Her 6 children stated that they don't want more babies in their home but they obviously did not have a say in any of their mother's decisions.

Nayda did not have brothers and sisters and she is telling the world that because of that she came from a dysfunctional family? How is it then she can have children without a father in the home and not expect them to feel total dysfunction in a fatherless family of 14 children? We have to stop listening to her because the more we listen to her the more frustrated we get with her. She does not make any sense and we have to acknowledge that.

You cannot go back in time now and change anything that Nadya has done. What is done is done. Now you have to go forward with the best interests of the children in mind. Unfortunately we as taxpayers are going to have to step in and help, not only with our tax money but some of us with our time. Nadya is lacking basic common sense. Look at it from this direction though, how is she that different than the corporate CEO's on Wall Street that are excessive in their lifestyles? She is no different than they are. The CEO's of Bank of America, Citibank and Wells Fargo are spending more of our money than Nadya will ever have to spend.

Her decision to have a large family to satisfy a need that she has is not much different than the decisions that are made by the CEO's that are spending our money to fill a selfish need that they have. It seems that we are taking out our frustration at excessive greed out on Nadya to a certain extent. I know in her case it is more than just about money because small children are involved so it becomes a moral issue beyond the financial one. I see the basic lack of common sense is key here because it has become an epidemic. Greed has become the name of the game these days and we as taxpayers are tired of being the responsible ones to pay the price.

Nadya Suleman, mother of octuplets and 6 older children now has a Web site up and running for donations. Currently unemployed but contemplating a master's degree in counseling, she lives with her parents and collects $490 in food stamps.

Isaiah

Jeremiah

Jonah

Josiah

Makai

Maliyah

Nariyah

Noah

http://www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com

In interviews with Anne Curry on the TODAY show Monday and Tuesday she continued to defend her choice to bring eight more children into the world as a single parent of six children - three of which have special needs. She said on the show that she has a son who has autism, another child with ADHD and a third who is developmentally delayed in learning to speak.

"I personally do not believe I'm irresponsible," the 33-year old told Curry on the show. "Everything I do revolves around my children."

Suleman said she was married at age 21 and had an ectopic pregnancy that was terminated. She learned at that time she had various problems that would prevent any other pregnancies - except through in vitro fertilization. Each of her six older children was conceived through the fertility treatments.

Last year she went back to the clinic and her doctor, Dr. Michael M. Kamrava of the West Coast IVF Clinic in Beverly Hills, where six embryos were implanted. Two resulted in twins, making eight total infants born Jan. 26.

NBC's chief medical editor has said the bill for delivery and care could run $1.5 to $3 million. The Los Angeles Times reported that Kaiser Permanente has already asked Medi-Cal to pay the bill.

Suleman admitted on Dateline Tuesday night that she is also about $50,000 in debt. When Curry asked how it wasn't selfish to bring children into the world she can't afford Suleman replied, "Because I know I'll be able to afford them when I'm done with my schooling."

Curry also spoke with one of the older children, Suleman's 6-year-old, Amerah, if she thought eight more siblings sounded like fun.

"No," Amerah said.

When asked why not, she replied, "Cause there's gonna be a lot of crying."

Curry then asked if she thought her mom would be OK with all the kids all the time and Ameriah replied, "She's gonna be stressed out all the time."

See the original blog entry about the ongoing Octuplets Mom talks here.

Written by guest author Bonnie Woodrome on the topic of "Too Many Children?"

Bonnie Woodrome
Guest Author

I agree. She was selfish in her decision to create the children and then to keep all of them. The children will be punished for her poor choice. The general public does not want to cover her expenses through government programs, because she is abusing the system through irresponsible choices. This, in turn, only hurts the children. They will be the ones to miss out on health care, dental, maybe even food, because mom made some bad choices. How do you punish the mom without hurting the kids??

Also, a huge concern is in the development of the children. With there being so many in the womb, how many will suffer from developmental disease? I find it difficult to raise two healthy children- How can one mom and grandparents take care of 14 kids, especially if any of the children have special needs? I do not know if the intent on the mom's part was for financial gain or fame, or if there is something deeper than that, but I am truly concerned for the well being of her children.

Nadya Suleman, mother of the octuplets born last month and six other children, gets $490 a month in food stamps according to her publicist, Michael Furtney.

Suleman denied being on welfare during an interview with Ann Curry on the TODAY show. In response to questions about this statement, Furtney said that Suleman didn't consider the food stamps and SSI to be welfare - because these programs are designed to help people in need.

She also denied the statement that she had the octuplets because she hoped to make money off her story, reiterating that she just wanted a big family.

NBC chief medical editor Dr. Nancy Snyderman estimated the cost of delivering the infants and caring for them until they are able to safely leave the hospital to be between $1.5 million to $3 million.

Original post: http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/octuplets-mom-talks-about-chil.html

Written by guest author Maura Ammenheuser on the weekly topic "Octuplets mom speaks:"

My first reaction to the octoplets' birth was that it was amazing, a miracle, truly a joy. Later when I learned the mother already had six kids, I was flabbergasted and thought, frankly, that she's nuts. That's because I know I personally absolutely could not manage more than the two children I have. I do feel some women have a special gift with children, however, and if they want to mother a big brood, more power to them.

Maura Ammenheuser
Guest Author

But when the details started coming out about how this woman hasn't finished the schooling she needs to earn a living, that she's living with her mother, the father isn't in the picture to raise the children and that she apparently wanted a huge number of children to fill some kind of void in her own psyche, I got rather alarmed. It would take two parents, an enormous income and an entire village of relatives, to tweak the popular phrase, to raise 14 children in a way that ensures every one of them is well taken care of, physically and emotionally, and here this woman is attempting it with very little support system.

It is morally indefensible to deliberately bear children when you know you can't afford them -- certainly these children will become a financial burden on the mother, the grandmother and probably on the public welfare system as well, if that hasn't already happened -- and they may well become more than their mother can handle from an emotional and psychological perspective. I wish this mother well and hope she is more up to the challenge than we give her credit for, because those kids will need far more than it appears she is able to provide them.

While mother of 14, Nadya Suleman, expects that God, her parents and volunteers will find a way to provide for all her children, her mother, Angela Suleman, doesn't feel the same.

"The truth is Nadya's not capable of raising 14 children," she said in an interview posted on www.radaronline.com. She also said her daughter's compulsion for more children is a burden and called her actions "unconscionable."

The Associated Press

Ed Suleman carries one of his grandsons from a school bus in Whittier.

Angela Suleman said she is already struggling to look after the first six children. She told the media that the children are in bunk beds, are being fed in shifts and that their clothes are piled all over the house.

Nadya Suleman's publicist Mike Furtney said his client has been away from home for nearly two months, so she shouldn't be held responsible for the home's condition.

But as a parent, I have to wonder why she hasn't been home for two months spending time with the older kids and getting ready for the next eight.

She has been spending time with the media. The "Today" show recently aired the first images of the octuplets as Suleman toured the cameras through the Kaiser Permanente Bellflower Medical Center showing off the six boys and two girls.

Suleman admitted during the interview that she wasn't sure which child she was addressing some of the time, but they were labeled with a letter A through H, which helped. The infants are expected to remain in the hospital at least a month.

http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/octuplets-mom-talks-about-chil.html

The mystery mom who gave birth Jan. 26 to octuplets is no longer a mystery, but she's not getting the warmest welcome. She is now a single parent to 14 children - all of which were implanted with in vitro fertilization.

Nadya Suleman, 33, told NBC that all 14 children have the same biological father who is a friend. She is not currently employed, but plans to pursue a college degree in counseling to support herself and her family.

NBC

Nadya Suleman, left, speaking with Ann Curry in New York, in Suleman's first interview since giving birth.

In quotes from the NBC interview posted on its Web site, Suleman said her decision to be a mom so many times over had to do with what she felt was missing from her youth.

"That was always a dream of mine, to have a large family, a huge family, and I just longed for certain connections and attachments with another person that I really lacked, I believe, growing up," she said. When asked what was lacking, she responded saying a "feeling of self and identity ... I felt powerless. And that gave me a sense of predictability. Reflecting back on my childhood, I know it wasn't functional. It was pretty dysfunctional, and whose isn't?"

When she decided to have another child she said her fertility expert told her about risks to the mother and babies with extreme multiples. But she didn't want to have only one or two embryos planted and instead had six embryos implants - two of which led to twins.

Risks for the children include bleeding in the brain, intestinal problems, developmental delays and lifelong learning disabilities. The octuplets were born nine weeks premature, but all are surviving.

The U.S. fertility industry has guidlines that require no more than two embryos be implanted for women under age 35 "in the absence of extraordinary circumstances."

Is it right that an unemployed, single woman who is already the only parent to six other children would dramatically increase the risk of multiple births by having six embryos implanted? (it is unclear how the fertility industry guidelines were circumvented)

Share your thoughts.

Updates:
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/octuplets-grandmother-isnt-hap.html
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/it-would-take-a-village.html
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/suleman-denies-receiving-welfa.html
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/worried-about-octuplets-needs.html
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/02/donations-site-goes-up-for-oct.html

Written by guest author Debbie Yocum on the topic Sibling Rivalry Madness:

Debbie Yocum
Guest Author

In our household we have two girls and four boys. My 6-year-old boy and 8-year-old girl are devoted to each other and would do anything in the world to make sure that each has what they need. If my daughter gets invited to a party she wants to know if her little brother can come too. It works the same for her little brother because he wants to include her in everything he does too. Their love for each other is intense but unfortunately the word love does not describe the feelings that they have for each other when they are sitting in the back seat and the verbal fighting begins.

"He is looking at me mom," she says. "No I'm not. She is looking at me mom," he says. "But he was looking first," she whines. "But he was looking first," he repeats."Don't copy me!" she yells at the top of her lungs, only to be followed by "Don't copy me!" from the other side of the seat. About that time is when the seat belt comes off and she leaps over to his side of the car and then the physical war starts.

The older kids have their own variations of the same type of conflict. It seems that they fight in pairs of two. The oldest boy (17) and his sister (15) used to fight a lot more when they were younger but now that he can drive he usually just does his best to stay clear of his sister by leaving the house when he feels that he is going to be involved in some type of conflict with her. In the age of texting she lets him know how she feels by sending him a text which he can ignore if he wants to. My 14-year-old and 10-year-old seem to fight without even listening to what the other is saying. They both shout at the same time so the argument gets over fairly quickly and they go back to playing like nothing happened.

What will they be like when they grow up? Will they be friends? Will they grow apart? Families are so complex. I have 2 sisters but I only talk to one of them on a regular basis. I love the relationship that my sister and I have. She is my best friend. I know of other families where there is the same type of relationships; some members are close and others are distant. Why? Does it start as friendships that just click sometimes where others fail? Is it because some family members are just more loving or loyal than others? Is it jealously over attention from the parents?

Sibling rivalry plays a part in what we will be like as adults because it is from those relationships that we learn how to share and how to communicate among other things. Hopefully those relationships will thrive as we age because the benefit to that is having a best friend for life.